??
Big Up Ms Diamond for sending me this one, had me giggling! Linda?: Did you have good sex last night? Betty?: No, it was a disaster... my husband came home, ate his dinner in 3 minutes flat, showered, got on top of me, stuck it in and started banging away, he was finished in exactly 4 minutes,the slob then rolled over and promptly fell asleep in 2 minutes. How about you?? Linda?: Oh it was amazing! My husband came home. He took me out to a romantic dinner. Afterwards, we took a long walk for about an hour. When we got home he lit candles around the house,we had an hour of foreplay, followed by an hour of fantastic sex. Afterwards we talked for about an hour, it was like in a fairytale or movie!! At the same time, the husbands are talking at work.
Reality
David: Did you get a shag last night? James: Man, it was great! I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate, fucked the shit out my wife and fell asleep? What about you bruv? David: It was horrible I came home, there was no dinner because the bitch didn't pay the gas and electricity bill. In return I had to take the bitch out to dinner, which was so fucking expensive that i didn't have money for a taxi. So we had to walk,that took about an hour and when we got home, I had to light fucking candles all over the house! I was so angry that I couldn't get it up for about an hour, so I had to suck bitches pussy until I mustered up a hardon!! Then when my cock finally got hard I couldn't cum for another hour cos I was so pissed off. After I finally did, I was so mad and aggravated that I couldn't fall asleep and had to listen to my bitch jabbering on about some shit in my ears for another hour or so before I fell asleep... Morale ov tha story, it aint always wot it seems!!!
Sent using BlackBerry® from Orange
